Healing Shadows is a book written by AT, one of the people we support. It is about his experiences growing up in the Scottish care system in the early 60s.
We recently talked to AT about his feelings and how these have impacted his life so far. And we talked to him about his new book.
AT’s journey towards writing his book started in 2018 when he appeared at the Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry to give evidence. He explains:
“I was adamant I wanted to appear at the Inquiry. It was very important for me to do so even though I knew it would be difficult to do so. I wanted to tell my story just like many others. It was very tough and at the end of it, I was given the opportunity to read out a statement I had written. It was very emotional and quite overwhelming which resulted in me breaking down on several occasions. I remember Lady Smith saying to me when I had finished that my “words would not go unheard”. I was very proud of what I had achieved and the KC involved congratulated me and indicated to me it was very powerful.”
The Inquiry had triggered many feelings for AT. AT had built a very good working relationship with his Support Coordinator at Future Pathways. He talked to her about how he had been feeling.
“My Support Coordinator had always been very empathetic and had that natural ability to just listen. As a survivor, sometimes that’s all you need.”
AT continued to be open with his Support Coordinator. He also went to counselling. Over the years, he has managed to get a good insight into his own mental health.
Last year, he told his Support Coordinator that he had always wanted to write a book about his childhood. They both agreed he would make a start and he wrote the first chapter.
His Support Coordinator then put him in touch with The Book Whisperers. They give guidance and support to help people achieve the goal of writing a book.
“I felt there was something unique in putting pen to paper and writing about your feelings on paper. It was very cathartic for me. There were occasions where I needed to step away because it could be overwhelming at times.”
Mary from the Book Whisperers reminded him to take a break after each of their sessions discussing a chapter of the book.
While AT was writing his book it gave him an opportunity to reflect on his life and the journey he had been on.
“Writing this book changed a lot for me. I was putting myself under the microscope. It gave me the chance to reflect where my life was now and where I wanted it to go. I had realised for a long time I had been using alcohol as a coping mechanism. So, in June of this year, I decided to remove alcohol from my life, and haven’t looked back. I realise this decision was part of my journey in reflecting how I wanted to lead my life.”
AT’s writing got lots of praise and this reminded him how he felt in the past when he was given any praise.
“I was never used to getting any positive reinforcement and praise. I just thought people say positive things because they felt they had to but didn’t really mean them at all. But my Support Coordinator from Future Pathways and Mary from the Book Whisperers kept telling me they were blown away with my writing skills. It took me a long time to realise that I had written a really good book, as I had never done anything like this before.”
For AT writing this book brought lots of positive changes in his life. His mental health has improved, he has reduced anxiety and is able to spend time with people in a different way, feeling less stressed.
“My mental health has been in the best place it has been in a long time. Leaving alcohol behind was a massive achievement, but was just part of what I got out of the process. I now have the ability to open up much more than I ever had. I have built up a strength and resilience within me which has always been there, but the writing process helped me to accept me as a person, I feel I am a better version of me.”
Many readers have said the book is inspiring. AT explains:
“I hope my book can give even one person hope to turn their life around.”
AT hopes his story might help others too.
