We asked Bill about his book, and why he decided to tell his story.
Future Pathways supported Bill to write a book about his life. He worked with The Book Whisperers to do this. The Book Whisperers are one of our Delivery Partners.
Bill is from the north of Scotland and speaks in the ‘Doric’ dialect that is common there. The book is written in the same dialect. Even if you’re not familiar with Doric, you can still understand the book. It’s called ‘Tellin’ It Like It Is: ma life on and aff the rails’. Bill chose this title because for many years he worked as a train driver.
Bill had often thought about writing a book and when he said this to his Support Coordinator, she told him about The Book Whisperers. Bill says:
“I thought: ‘Why not?’, so Future Pathways put me in touch with Katie at The Book Whisperers, and it just went from there. I told them what I wanted in the book – my own words. It’s my story.”
Bill met with Katie online, over a few months, to tell his story. He has had an interesting life, starting on a farm in Aberdeenshire.
“I’m 72 now, and I’ve lived a good life. I’m a country boy, born and bred. Born on a farm, and all the kids at school were farmers’ kids. When I was 7 years old I’d take the cows in for milking every morning, and milk them myself. The farming then was a lot different to what it is now. Then it would take 6 or 7 men to run a farm. Now one or two can do it.”
So what inspired Bill to write the book?
“The book is my whole life story, from start to finish. I don’t know what people will like about it – that’s up to them. Everything in the book is God’s honest truth. Nothing made up at all. I’ve never done that in my life, and I’m not going to start now. It’s all in there – including the swear words! I don’t just tell people what they want to hear. I tell it like it is.”
Bill now has quite a lot of serious health problems, but this hasn’t changed his approach to life or his sense of humour.
“I go to the hospital every few months to see a specialist. At my last visit, he called me ‘Wonderboy’. I said ‘Why do you call me that?’ He said, ‘Because I wonder why you’re still here!’ I just take every day as it comes.”
Want to know more?
Healing Shadows is a book written by AT, one of the people we support. It is about his experiences growing up in the Scottish care system in the early 60s.
We recently talked to AT about his feelings and how these have impacted his life so far. And we talked to him about his new book.
AT’s journey towards writing his book started in 2018 when he appeared at the Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry to give evidence. He explains:
“I was adamant I wanted to appear at the Inquiry. It was very important for me to do so even though I knew it would be difficult to do so. I wanted to tell my story just like many others. It was very tough and at the end of it, I was given the opportunity to read out a statement I had written. It was very emotional and quite overwhelming which resulted in me breaking down on several occasions. I remember Lady Smith saying to me when I had finished that my “words would not go unheard”. I was very proud of what I had achieved and the KC involved congratulated me and indicated to me it was very powerful.”
The Inquiry had triggered many feelings for AT. AT had built a very good working relationship with his Support Coordinator at Future Pathways. He talked to her about how he had been feeling.
“My Support Coordinator had always been very empathetic and had that natural ability to just listen. As a survivor, sometimes that’s all you need.”
AT continued to be open with his Support Coordinator. He also went to counselling. Over the years, he has managed to get a good insight into his own mental health.
Last year, he told his Support Coordinator that he had always wanted to write a book about his childhood. They both agreed he would make a start and he wrote the first chapter.
His Support Coordinator then put him in touch with The Book Whisperers. They give guidance and support to help people achieve the goal of writing a book.
“I felt there was something unique in putting pen to paper and writing about your feelings on paper. It was very cathartic for me. There were occasions where I needed to step away because it could be overwhelming at times.”
Mary from the Book Whisperers reminded him to take a break after each of their sessions discussing a chapter of the book.
While AT was writing his book it gave him an opportunity to reflect on his life and the journey he had been on.
“Writing this book changed a lot for me. I was putting myself under the microscope. It gave me the chance to reflect where my life was now and where I wanted it to go. I had realised for a long time I had been using alcohol as a coping mechanism. So, in June of this year, I decided to remove alcohol from my life, and haven’t looked back. I realise this decision was part of my journey in reflecting how I wanted to lead my life.”
AT’s writing got lots of praise and this reminded him how he felt in the past when he was given any praise.
“I was never used to getting any positive reinforcement and praise. I just thought people say positive things because they felt they had to but didn’t really mean them at all. But my Support Coordinator from Future Pathways and Mary from the Book Whisperers kept telling me they were blown away with my writing skills. It took me a long time to realise that I had written a really good book, as I had never done anything like this before.”
For AT writing this book brought lots of positive changes in his life. His mental health has improved, he has reduced anxiety and is able to spend time with people in a different way, feeling less stressed.
“My mental health has been in the best place it has been in a long time. Leaving alcohol behind was a massive achievement, but was just part of what I got out of the process. I now have the ability to open up much more than I ever had. I have built up a strength and resilience within me which has always been there, but the writing process helped me to accept me as a person, I feel I am a better version of me.”
Many readers have said the book is inspiring. AT explains:
“I hope my book can give even one person hope to turn their life around.”
AT hopes his story might help others too.
“If someone reads this who has gone through a difficult time, I hope they can see there is light at the end of the tunnel but everyone’s light may be different. Something you might think is a small achievement is actually a massive achievement for an individual. There most definitely is a resilience in being a survivor, although I don’t think we realise how resilient we really are.”
Healing Shadows
Find out more about how gardening helped P to spend time outside, connect with people and feel a sense of purpose.
We spoke to someone we support about his gardening hobby. He uses the name ‘Papa Yap Yap’. It is the name his family call him because he talks so much! Here, we call him ‘P’.
Future Pathways supported P with his gardening hobby. This included getting a polytunnel and gardening equipment. Polytunnels are made from steel and covered in thin plastic. The polytunnel protects what is inside it. The sun heats up the inside of the tunnel and this warms the plants, vegetables and soil inside, helping them to grow.
P started gardening after one of his daughters said that he needed something to take his mind off things. He also thought it might bring him a sense of pride.
‘I’ve turned my life around. My ‘get up and go’ is now back.’
The new gardening items mean P can now grow his own vegetables and herbs in his back garden. He has grown tomatoes, potatoes, onions, peppers and chillis.
‘Tomatoes are the most difficult. I’m most proud of my tatties because of the way they came out – they were tiny but tasty.’
Gardening also helps P to get out of the house. P needs to look after his vegetables and herbs every day because they need help to grow.
‘I’d rather be in my hut and my garden than in my house. I have to go out because it needs my attention.’
Gardening also helps P to connect with other people. It is something he can talk about with others.
This new hobby has given P a sense of purpose and a feeling of pride. P is hoping to get another polytunnel so he can plant different things. Next he wants to try growing leeks and beetroot.
‘The pride I get is from growing a seed to a plant to giving the vegetables away. I feel I have more purpose. I’ve got a wee glow about me now.’
Top tips
From growing plants at home to taking time outside, being in nature can boost our wellbeing. You can find top tips in our Going Green feature:
www.future-pathways.co.uk/going-green
Here, Trevor shares his thoughts on writing about your own experience.
My thoughts on writing about your own experience
I realise not all who are care experienced would want to write about their own lives which may have been permanently impacted by abuse. The process requires you to revisit painful past memories and look closely at the many ways they still impose themselves onto your life.
Nonetheless, writing and reflection offers an opportunity to gain insight on how you feel and why you feel the way you do in your life now in the present. Writing your story can be a journey toward healing some of your pain and I would advise anyone with care experience to think about writing to gain more clarity.
Future Pathways and The Book Whisperers helped me more than words can explain to record and review my experience. I know from the requests and comments that my story has proven useful to readers. That means my story is worthwhile to me and others.
I would encourage people to get their story out there. It could help you, and it could help another person too.
Knocking Down the Wall
Trevor’s latest book is now available. It is called Knocking Down the Wall. It is a collection of stories and poems. In the book, Trevor talks about the challenges of his childhood. But he also talks about his healing journey. He describes confronting and overcoming his past. The book is available on Amazon here.
Discover more
A good night’s sleep can boost your mental health. Here, we share top tips from First Psychology.
Sleep is an important part of our lives. It helps us with our physical and mental health. Good quality sleep can help us feel refreshed. It can help us get ready for the day ahead.
If you find it hard to sleep well, you are not alone. When we sleep badly, we can feel very tired. We can wake up feeling annoyed. And it can be hard to focus on the things we need to do through the day.
Sleeping badly can happen to lots of people. It can happen more when we feel stressed or worried.
What does ‘good sleep’ mean?
Good sleep means:
- You fall asleep within 30 minutes of going to bed.
- You sleep all the way through the night. You do not wake up more than once during the night.
- You get the right amount sleep. Adults should try to sleep for 7 to 9 hours a night.
- You feel refreshed when you wake up.
Tips to improve your sleep
Create a routine.
Go to bed at the same time every night. Try to get up at the same time every morning too.
Try things that can help to relax before bedtime.
Some people find yoga can help them to relax before bed. Some people find it helpful to read or to listen to an audio book. Nice smelling candles and herbal teas can be soothing. A hot water bottle can help you feel more restful.
Get exercise at the right time.
Keeping active during the day helps us get tired for bedtime. Getting outside in the morning can help us sleep better at night. But doing exercise too close to bedtime can make it harder to fall asleep.
Watch what you drink.
Caffeine can affect our sleep. Try not to have coffee or energy drinks late in the day. Alcohol can affect our sleep too. It can make it harder to stay asleep through the night.
Switch off your devices.
The light from phones, tablets and laptops can affect our sleep. Try to switch them off an hour before you go to bed.
Write down your worries.
If you find yourself worrying at bedtime, keep a pen and paper beside your bed. Writing down your worries can help to stop them going round in your head and help you feel more peaceful.
Try not to get frustrated.
If you are finding it hard to sleep, try not to get angry about it. Get up and try a gentle activity, like reading. Then go back to bed when you feel more sleepy.
Find what works for you. Try to be kind to yourself when you are tired.
This article is adapted from a booklet called ‘Sleep better, feel better’. It is written by First Psychology. First Psychology are one of our Delivery Partners. They offer different kinds of therapy, like counselling, psychotherapy and coaching. They are based in Edinburgh but they have offices in lots of places.
You can find out more about them at www.firstpsychology.co.uk
You can see the full booklet at: www.firstpsychology.co.uk/booklets