Bradley reflects on his time with Voices for a Better Future. He talks about learning people skills, gaining strength and becoming more open. He also talks about the ways services must listen to people with lived experience so they can truly meet people’s needs.
The real vibe is alive. None of us get a light: we have to discuss why we are here to give us confidence and strength in our life’s experiences. It is strong and powerful and, if you can contain these things, I can too and I will take them with me.
The damages are for life but, with shared experience, we can reach out and spark the change. We can encourage people to report to the police and go down the road of seeking justice. This can feel like an uphill battle and can make turmoil – someone may not have been accused before and it’s your statement, only you, that speaks up.
The group is diverse. At first, we had difficulties adjusting so there were teething problems. A few people left, including myself, but staff went out of their way and skilfully pulled us all back in again. What I have gotten out of this is that I’m learning people skills, going out my comfort zone. I have faced hostilities before and know the best way to deal with it is to offer words of encouragement. Most people, including myself, have been shut down before and the feeling of anger can come. But any ill feeling slowly drifts away and all is well.
Simmering at the bottom of all our hearts is the knowledge of our experience. And, in the wee small hours when I wake and lie there, I think ‘it’s not bad’ as I can think to myself of the good moments on our life. Joining the group has made me stronger. I am more open and becoming more selective in what I say. I’m trying to articulate my words to a form of excellence. At the same time, I feel the group’s silent aura giving me strength, combined with a settling peace and assurance that I’m not alone.
Services need to listen to people with lived experience. For example, I have been dealing with a council after they were called out for negligence in their duty of care. It took me a long time to get details about their policies around strangers being allows to take foster children on holiday. The Information Commissioner’s Office stepped in and asked for that council to reply to my request. However, the policies I was wanting to see – from 1988 to 1990 – were not available. So, the ICO and myself asked for all the policies before 1988 and after 1990. This was really important to me because it related to the time where services failed to protect me.
Services need to treat people with respect. I spoke to a social worker recently and I noticed her tone and it made me feel a sense of disrespect. I told her that I have four decades of experience with social workers and I do not want to be misled. Maybe a lot has changed since the 1990s but I feel that attitudes still need to modernise.
It’s important to use your voice if you can. I have raised complaints with services before and challenged them. This can feel really difficult, especially when you have already gone through painful experiences. But when you are seeking information about yourself, or that relates to your life, then I feel I should not go away. I will continue to sit patiently at the doors of services until I have the information that belongs to me.
