This year, Andrew published his latest book, Fear of Harmeny. It brings together Andrew’s writing and music choices to create a unique insight into experience.
Andrew has written two memoirs. He describes the books as ‘Part 1’ and ‘Part 2’ in the stages of his life journey. Andrew published his first book, A Lost Childhood Frozen In Time in 2023. Here, Andrew focused on his early life, the circumstances that led to him being in care, his moves between multiple care homes and the abuse he experienced in each of them. While Andrew’s first book focused on different places, his second book takes a different route.
In Fear of Harmeny, Andrew focuses on a specific place of his childhood: Harmeny School, a source of fear and abuse. In his book, Andrew looks back at his experiences but also reflects on the impact this had on his adult life. He considers how the care system split him from his other siblings, failed to keep himself and others safe, and created lasting trauma.
In childhood, Andrew turned to music to cope: The Jam, The Clash, Madness and The Specials. Through the sound and lyrics, he could channel his anger and frustration. When he listened to lyrics, it was as if the songs were connecting directly to him.
‘They all seemed like angry songs to me as a child, so I wanted to play these so loudly. I wanted to tell the system where to go because that’s what those songs were about.’
That feeling – that music can reach out from one person to another – continued into adulthood. Sitting in his home, Andrew was listening to Block 33 and their song ‘Keep on Smiling’. It resonated with him and felt like a powerful message.
‘Music can be a really strong form of connection. I listen to that song, I keep on smiling because you’ve got to somehow do that even when you have been through things like this.’
From there, Andrew was inspired to weave music directly into his own memoir. Before each chapter of Fear of Harmeny, Andrew includes a QR code directing the reader to a piece of music online. You listen to the track first and then read the chapter, finding out how the lyrics relate to the words on the page, how music shines a light on Andrew’s experiences. For example, the first song is ‘Parent Police‘ by Death of Guitar Pop which Andrew notes ‘is about the lead singer’s childhood but can really relate to anyone who had a horrible time as a child’. He also includes ‘Social Disguises’ by The Enemy as ‘that’s so powerful – all about taking the mask off and revealing the truth’.
‘You might hear a song about being at rock bottom but they can also make you want to get up and keep moving. Lyrics from songs can inspire change, no matter how hard life is.’
Prior to writing the book, Andrew took part in the Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry. He was the only person to give witness testimony in person. This was a very challenging time. However, Andrew later found connection through music and felt able to take part in a music video with one of his favourite bands, Death of Guitar Pop.
‘Giving evidence changed my life. It turned me inside out. It made me think about how I have always felt lost and not part of anything. You can go to a party or a football match and feel like you’re the only one there. But then I took part in this video and I related so much to the band. They made me feel as if I was part of a family. It was the first time I really felt part of something.’
Music had once been a form of escape. Now, it had become a source of inspiration and even healing. By listening to his favourite music and hearing those lyrics really speak to him, Andrew was able to write his book.
The writing process is not always easy, especially when it is a book about your own life. Andrew knew which chapter would the hardest to write as he would be confronting the most difficult experiences.
‘You really have to go back and imagine yourself as a child again and then be the adult looking back.’
To maintain his mental health, Andrew chose stay elsewhere while he wrote that section of the book. Away from home, he went through all his handwritten notes. After he typed up each section, Andrew would rip up the paper. Page by page, he was closing a chapter of his life. The writing process gave Andrew the space to look back on experience, process feelings and shift his perspective of himself.
‘When I used to look at my reflection, I would see a lost child, someone always scared, someone who had their childhood taken away by a system that failed him. Now, I see a different reflection: someone who faced a fear and came through it. It has never been easy, but I’ve found an inner strength I never knew I had.’
Drawing on this strength, Andrew is seeking to raise awareness about the impact of childhood abuse on people’s adult life. By fusing memoir and music, he has created a way for people to further understand his experience. But, as much as the book is centred around Andrew’s own life, it is very much a message to others.
‘It’s my story but other people went through this too. This book lets people know that they aren’t alone. Don’t sit in darkness. Find something that will pull you out into the light.’
This message is certainly resonating with his readers who have left reviews of Andrew’s book:
“A powerful and deeply honest account of childhood trauma, survival and the courage it takes to speak out.”
“What really stood out to me was Andrew’s bravery in speaking about such painful experiences. This isn’t an easy story, but it is one that needs to be told. It also highlights how important support, therapy, love and having your experiences acknowledged can be when trying to move forward from childhood trauma.”
“By reading the book you feel so honoured to of shared the journey and reflections undertaken to find justice and peace.”
Find out more
Both of Andrew’s books are available on Amazon. Andrew generously donates proceeds from the books to mental health charity Calm. Calm is suicide prevention charity that provides life-saving services and practical mental health support to anyone who needs it.
Andrew was supported by Future Pathways and the Book Whisperers to write, edit and publish his book.
Above: Caring Scotland – Ten Portraits and Sound Collection, photograph by Kirsty Anderson
Ten Portraits is a photographic exhibition featuring Care Experienced people. We spoke to Chris, the photographer on the project. He tells us more about the work and how it shaped his own view of being Care Experienced.
How did you become involved in the project?
I saw an advert for the Ten Portraits project and thought it had my name on it. There was an application process then an interview. About 130 people applied, and this was then narrowed down to 20. After that, 6 of us were invited to an interview with National Theatre of Scotland.
I brought a selection of examples my printed work, as well as a photograph that spoke to me personally to discuss. I chose an immensely powerful image by my favourite portrait photographer Sarah Edmunds. I also talked about how I would approach working with people so that they felt safe and comfortable taking part.
I left the interview feeling like no stone was left unturned. A few days later I got a call to say they had chosen me as the photographer for the project. I couldn’t believe it. My partner Elaine, who pushed me to apply, was blown away, too.
How did you work with each person?
Each person was Care Experienced so I shared that I was too. The fact we had that connection put a lot of minds at rest. I also listened to their audio stories before we even thought about the photo shoot. This put the photo shoot in a broader perspective, so it aligned with what they wanted to share.
I did video calls, or met in person along with Genna (trainee project manager) with the participants, asking them about special places in their memories and what was important to them. And we’d allow for changes too. One person felt the approach didn’t resonate with their experience and comfort, so we changed plans and came up with a new approach. I was totally prepared to learn on the move regarding how people would react to ideas.
The team at National Theatre of Scotland was brilliant. They made sure people’s needs were met, and they understood potential triggers. They really made sure that people were safe, that they could open up, and would never be judged.
How do you capture someone’s personality?
Really, it’s about just listening to someone’s story and being able to relate to that story. Some might be happy memories, others might be serious situations. It’s also important that a person really feels comfortable and is OK. You let the person be themselves – with that relaxation there’s a moment, which is what you capture in that image.
And people chose specific locations which worked for them: one person chose a beach, another chose their old children’s home. We really left it open to each person to tell us what was important to them. That was key to making people feel at ease: that they could choose the places which stood out to them.
For example, Gemma had a lot of memories about travel and so we had Waverley Station as a backdrop for her. She brought the red coat herself and that really made the image ‘pop’. After the station, we knew another location wouldn’t have surpassed that for her portrait.
Above: Gemma, copyright Chris Scott Photography Dundee
What do you think was most important about this project for you?
It was a very personal journey for me as well. I was able to meet other Care Experienced people, listen to their stories and really connect. It was actually quite a healing process. I felt a real sense of belonging. It was an honour to meet these people and take their photograph.
I was given a lot of responsibility, so I guess an important aspect was living up to the challenge. But I got there and we made this happen. Being able to work on such a significant exhibition sort of removed any doubts that I might not be able to do something like this. It was a fantastic opportunity to work with participants and also the National Theatre of Scotland.
By doing this work, I’ve learned that there are other experiences. My own experience of care wasn’t great, but it was inspiring to hear people who had positive experiences. It was eye-opening and comforting. I would never have had that opportunity if I hadn’t done this project. I would have been stuck in my bubble. This opened my eyes a bit. I saw that everyone has their own story.
What do you hope this project might mean for other people?
For people who do not have experience of care, I hope this project shows diversity. There are different ages, jobs, backgrounds. Each portrait is different, each individual shines through. I hope the exhibition can spread some light and show that there are positive experiences alongside negative ones. People have made incredible successes in their lives, and some have used their own experiences to help others too.
It’s interesting to see how people have made it through their own experience of care. If you’ve not had that maternal or paternal encouragement, you must learn it yourself. That’s what I really picked up on: the grace of people who have used their own experience to move forward.
In essence, this is a listening project as it’s part of the broader Caring Scotland project. So really this is about Care Experienced people being heard, being able to speak and not being afraid to talk about your experience.
Find out more
Ten Portraits tours alongside One Hundred Voices, an interactive audio installation based on the testimony of the Care Experienced community in Scotland.
They are both part of the Caring Scotland listening project, documenting the lives and experiences of at least 100 members of the care experienced community in Scotland.
Caring Scotland aims to raise the profile, celebrate the achievements and empower the care experienced community.
The project is delivered by National Theatre of Scotland in partnership with Who Cares? Scotland and the National Library of Scotland. It was funded with an award from The National Lottery Heritage Fund.
Above: One Hundred Voices, photograph by Kirsty Anderson
Ten Portraits as part of One Hundred Voices is on display at the following venues:
The Scottish Parliament, Edinburgh
Wednesday 12 to Friday 28 August 2026
Citizens Theatre, Glasgow
Wednesday 2 to Saturday 12 September 2026
Easterbrook Hall, Dumfries
Thursday 17 to Saturday 19 September 2026
Millennium Centre, Stranraer
Thursday 24 to Saturday 26 September
Reid Hall, Forfar
Thursday 1 to Saturday 3 October
Rothes Halls, Glenrothes
Thursday 8 to Saturday 30 October
As part of her support with Future Pathways, Louise chose to explore her creativity through ceramics workshops. We spoke with her about learning new skills, building confidence and how creativity can bring change.
Exploring support
I’ve always been interested in ceramics. When I started with Future Pathways, my Support Coordinator explained that I could get support to do different things. I thought ‘maybe I could do pottery?’. This was like a dream for me. So, I did two short courses and then got a year’s membership for the workshops. I was so happy and, honestly, I’m still so happy even just talking about it now.
Confidence and connection
I do my course at Creative Bloc in Glasgow. They’re a social enterprise so they do a lot for the community. At first, I was anxious about going along. My Support Coordinator at Future Pathways talked me through it, and this calmed me down. In my first couple of months on the course, I was quite quiet. But that’s OK because when you’re doing pottery, you don’t have to really talk to people.
Now my confidence has built up. I look forward to seeing people and I can chat away to everyone. There is such a warm atmosphere, and everyone is so helpful and friendly. I know a lot of other people come to the workshop for their mental health. For me, it takes away all the anxiety.
The learning journey
When I first joined, I thought ‘I’ll never be able to do this.’ It takes practice but you see improvements. I’ve learnt how to create a pot on the wheel, trim it and glaze it. I’ve learned how to make mugs and add handles. I’ve also learnt sgraffito, a technique where you carve into the clay. And we learnt ‘hand building’ which is rolling out the clay and making sculptural pieces.
Originally, I was tense because my pots were falling apart. But that happens to everyone. So, even now, when they collapse, it’s still an enjoyable experience. I don’t feel frustrated. And when it goes well, I think ‘wow’, as I know how much concentration it takes to do it. I feel good about myself as I’ve managed to focus my mind. I get a great sense of satisfaction, such a lovely feeling.
Seeing the change
Now I feel really proud. I’ve made little bowls, cups, plates and even fruit sculptures. I’m still classed as a beginner, but I feel I’m seeing progress. Creative Bloc let me use the space to hold a charity event. I had my ceramics there and my friends brought their paintings and jewellery along too. The event was busy all day, people just kept coming! I sold almost all of my pieces and I raised £500.
I used to feel anxious about going out of the house. Now, I’m excited. I never thought I’d get the chance to do something like this. I just feel so privileged. My daughters love that I do this too. They like seeing what I make and that I’ve got something for myself. Doing this has changed my life completely.
Here, a person supported by Future Pathways describes how they feel about the service, the support and their life now.
“I have been supported by Future Pathways over the last few years and from the start it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience for me. My workers have all been down to earth and real people who have made me feel genuinely supported and cared about and, most importantly, at no point have I felt judged or treated in a negative way about any of my terrible past. Thank you to yous all for that.
I am a single dad and today it is roughly four years I have been back out of prison and on my positive life path so feels good to be writing this today. Future Pathways have supported me through house moves, a driving course and exam, and my full family history.
Future Pathways funding all of this, and just knowing I have a Future Pathways worker to support me through it as well, is literally life changing for me and my kids. I have been able to provide my kids with a permanent home we are all proud of and happy to live in. I could not have done this without Future Pathways.
I have been on – and am on – a journey of staying in a positive mindset and way of life. Today, ‘we’ as a family unit live comfortably and happy in our permanent house thanks, in a big way, to Future Pathways. My life is positive and healthy, and I am grateful for being able to achieve all of this over these last few years.”
Share your views too
You can give feedback on Future Pathways. For example, what you think we do well or what you think we need to do better. We really value your comments and ideas. There are lots of ways you can give feedback. You can:
- Fill in our feedback form here
- Email us at engagement@future-pathways.co.uk
- Talk to your Support Coordinator and they can share your feedback with us
- Send us a letter to Future Pathways, c/o Health in Mind, Links House, 15 Links Place, Edinburgh, EH6 7EZ
- Ask for a chat with our Impact and Evaluation Lead
Feedback can be anonymous. You do not have to give your name if you do not want to.